Transitions And Trusting The Process Of Change

Much has been written about transitions and the change that occurs when we are transitioning from one stage of life to another. Sometimes the ending one chapter and starting another is not a smooth transition and can be quite jagged. Sometimes the transitional period can be longer than we envisioned causing concern and sometimes it can be that we change so rapidly that it is unnerving and makes us question our sanity. The purpose of this article is to offer some pointers and share my experiences with managing transitions and trusting the process of change.

I did not think when I started, I would ever have envisaged that teaching people would lead to such dramatic growth in me as a person. At times it has been dizzying and at times manageable. At times I have felt like I am sitting here, and nothing is happening and at times I have stepped into change and actively forced things to happen. Here is what I have found helps in managing transitions and change.

Life is efficient and its wisdom unsurpassed

and as such knows us better than we know ourselves.

Firstly, trust the process.

This is easier said than done but what I have found over time that by trusting that everything will work out and being more accepting with not knowing what is going to happen, makes the process much more manageable, leading to less turbulence which in turn leads to a faster transition. Trust is something you will have to work on but over time as you change and adapt you find yourself becoming more undaunted by it all.

Secondly, become aware of how your conditioning will affect the process.

We have been conditioned by family, peer groups and society to be a certain way. When we start changing and transitioning those ideas are normally the first to be challenged. The mind will throw up thoughts like how I will manage? what is going on? Am I able to transition to this new way of functioning? Any manner of thoughts will arise, and it is in this situation better to focus on the longer-term picture. Sometimes the mind can throw up a variety of thoughts simultaneously which can overwhelm. The Sufis state that “this too shall pass” and I feel for transitions or change this is important to realise that whatever is happening and however bad it may get it will pass.

Thirdly, do not try to force the process.

I personally am coming out of a period of silence. I remember finishing a talk and declaring that I had nothing to say. What happened after that was that extraordinarily little if any new content appeared. This silence panicked me initially as I wondered if this meant that I would no longer talk. In my panic I tried to make things happen, going from talk to talk. I found myself getting increasingly tired and eventually I had to stop. I realised then that I was forcing the process. Sometime later slowly but surely, I started to transition out of this period of silence and found myself busier. I realised then that life had given me a period of rest which I should have taken advantage of. Instead by forcing the process and trying to remain busy I had squandered valuable rest time and an opportunity to reflect and grow further.

Fourthly, Patience. I am naturally impatient and always wanting to be doing something. This attitude I have found has not really helped and combined with conditioning and trying to force the process has led me sometimes to have difficult transitions. When we transition and our ideas are challenged, we can find we are directionless. We may find that initially we are welcome to some sort of change but over time thoughts such as how will I pay my bills? I am appearing irresponsible to others around me. Am I lazy? And others such questions start to rear up. It is natural then due to conditioned responses for us to become impatient and try to force the process. Instead of accepting what is and transitioning smoothly we lengthen the process by our very interfering in it. This can lead to people trying to make a change while half cooked and invariably this leads them back into the transitionary process.

Life is efficient and its wisdom unsurpassed and as such knows us better than we know ourselves. By trusting its wisdom, we can use these moments of transition and change to realise more of who we truly are. Life as I have said before is the ultimate teacher. If we let go and let god and regardless of what is going on and regardless of the machinations of the mind, we may find that this trusting leads us home to where we already are: here and now.