The Last Days

What is it then that makes us yearn to go back if only for an instant?

What did that moment hold that others did not?

Sometimes the words of a child are such that they evoke memories of a clearer and more innocent time. We wish then in that moment that we could relive that time if only for an instant to fully feel that sense of resting that we felt in that instant.

To give some context to this writing. During a conversation the following statement was made. A father was speaking to his young son and he had made the following comment:

“My son made a beautiful comment the other day about feeling sad and that he could not go back to the last days”

This was also echoed by an early follower of my work, who in a recent conversation stated that he would love if only for an instant to go back to the time when I was just starting out and it was just him and me.

We all wish that we could capture those moments that really moved us and be able to revisit them at will. We do in the form of memory but the memory is de facto and just a remnant of the actual experience.

What is it then that makes us yearn to go back if only for an instant? What did that moment hold that others did not? Why did consciousness break through and sear a memory that could never be forgotten into our mind?

Consider, firstly why you want to go back. What was happening in that moment? What did you feel. What were you thinking? What made it so special?

Would I forever be sitting in the clouds

forever in this moment?

One such memory for me was, I remember as a child swinging back and forth on a swing at my local park looking up at the clouds on a warm summers day. I could feel the warmth on my face. The sense of wonder looking at the clouds and the way they slowly moved. A sense of adventure in that I imagined what it would be to be sitting in those clouds and looking down and the sense of excitement of what would it be like to sit in the clouds. Were they soft and warm, what would I see while up there looking down and what would it mean for me. Would I forever be sitting in the clouds, forever in this moment? Further still I derived a sense of security in sitting on the swing and being able to fully be here. Without effort or trying and this is important without “me” there.

So what do I feel makes these moments so important is that for those instances we are home in our natural way of being, in which we naturally and without effort experience the oneness of what we are. As we then come back into the story that memory that is formed is a remnant of a time we feel we will forget. Memory then further clouds the picture and helps in the further development and reinforcement of the idea of “me”

Maybe also then not being forget these moments as a reminder from consciousness as to our true nature. A signpost for us on our journey home. A clue we left ourselves. Sometimes as we seek there is a sense of impossibility of ever arriving at this place where we can rest and just be, without effort or strain and yet these moments where we just are, serve to remind us of ourselves and prove to us that what we seek is what we are and that home is a very real place. Home is here and now and wherever we go and wherever we travel it is with us as it is us. These moments these beautiful moments. So pristine, so beautiful, so clear. Point and remind us of our true nature.

How then to be able to live these moments always. As if they are happening right now. Ever fresh and ever new. It seems impossible and yet this possibility is open to us at every instant and to access this possibility, all that is required is a simple acceptance of now.

Whatever is happening right now is you. This is your true nature. You are not your story, your identity, your possessions, your status. What you are is this beautiful singularity.

An innocent moment made clear by a child’s remarks.

Made clear by the remembrance of a simpler time.

Made clear by the wisdom in the eyes of one who has truly lived.

Made clear by loves first kiss.

Made clear by those moments that take our breath away

The acceptance of the present moment collapses the idea of time, the idea of individuality, the idea of “me”. In this pristine state, we are here. Every thought, feeling and emotions arises and falls in this singularity. We are always here. Here in the last days.