There is utter silence. After years of frenetic activity, there is finally silence. This silence is occurring in the most unusual of places and it turns my focus inwards. Sometimes, I struggle to function and must come out of the silence, but, I sense its call drawing me back.

I have found now that I want a life outside the constant talks and producing content, and there is a settling and a desire to put down roots.

It’s about caring for me now, about caring for my family and mending relationships that suffered as I constantly moved about travelling and speaking. I have spoken of this for years and made attempts to do this but now I see it is occurring naturally. There is a structure occurring in this work, and yet, there is a real freedom in this structure. There is a joy in writing now and exploring the theme of self-realisation.

I recently registered that it had been sixteen years since I stopped seeking and it is bringing up new insight, and I find myself looking at the topic of self-realisation differently. I am excited and I can’t remember how long it has been since I felt like this. I feel things and those feelings provide insight at a depth I have never known. I know the word deepening is inadequate, but that is how it feels. Like a child exploring their terrain, I am exploring once again. Taking tentative steps and becoming aware of all these beautiful expressions that exist.

“The heart has its own language. The heart knows a hundred thousand ways to speak.”

- Mevlana Jalaluddin Rumi

There is a joy with each keystroke and seeing words appear on the screen. Ideas appear in a non-linear fashion and, like a child throwing paint on a canvas, I find a beauty in this, and yet I am finding the non-linear is leading to the linear. What will this exploration throw up? Where will this lead? I explore the vastness I am. Like a visitor fascinated by seeing that masterpiece for the first time and witnessing its magnificence wanting to drink in every detail.

Those years of chaos are being replaced by a structure and yet there is freedom in this structure.

What will this exploration bring up next?